I CAN’T OPEN WINDOWS IN MY VAN

5 min readJun 18, 2021

A Powerful Tale about a Power Problem

RECURRING NIGHTMARE

I’ve had this recurring nightmare ever since I was a child. We’d be driving along in one of our station wagons or cars, and the car would experience a tire failure and veer into a nearby lake or river. Back in those days, you had to crank open the windows with a window crank that you would spin in circles as fast as you could. But as the cars grew older the windows became more difficult to roll up and down. And, in school, they filled our hearts with fear, telling us it was very hard to open the doors when it was underwater. So I always had bad dreams about drowning, trapped inside a car, underwater. But I hear it’s one of the better ways to drown. I also had dreams of drowning in quicksand or cement. To some, I would be considered a glub, glub, glub, glubbering idiot. And this is likely true.

SHORT CIRCUITED

As the automobiles continued to improve, they switched to electric windows, but this only increased the fear. Because when you veer into the water in the ditch and you go underwater, will the electric windows function and roll down? How do you know? As you can see, I probably wasn’t very normal as a child. I figured weird things, and opening windows in cars and vans was one of them.

AGED WISDOM

As I’ve continued to age and gotten wiser, I worry less about getting the window down, for I realize I probably couldn’t get out the window anyway. And I figured I’d probably just call AAA and hope they made it in time. So my fears became more rational, but my escape plans made less sense. Fortunately for those that live with me and around me, this is my only small and real character flaw.

2003 SHAGGIN WAGON

Recently we took a long extended trip in our 2003 shaggin’ wagon, otherwise known as a 2003 Chevy Venture. We purchased this vehicle when it had about 95,000 miles on it. It has provided reliable service and now has about 275,000 miles on it. The passenger side front window has never worked, and won’t roll down. Insert fear here. But other than some mild electronic problems, the van has provided very reliable service. Until this recent trip to Alabama, Florida, and Georgia.

OPENING WINDOWS

My wife was driving because I needed to work. I had brought along my laptop, which is a 17 inch laptop loaded down with eight terabytes of SSD drive space. When I turn it on at home, lights in nearby cities dim. I’m only kidding, it only consumes 170 watts of power. I had it plugged into a 150 watt power inverter and hoped that it would work. But when I powered on the laptop, as soon as it started to open Windows, the fans on the laptop would kick on, and it would blow the fuse in the power inverter. This made me mildly unhappy. But I knew I could purchase a new inverter.

AIN’T NO POWER STRONG ENOUGH

Next we purchased a 250 watt power inverter. We started down the road again. This time when the laptop started to boot up and Windows started to load and the fans kicked on, it blew the power fuse in the van, and not the power inverter. It would seem that the wiring in the van would not support the higher wattage needed by the laptop. We tried various configurations of power inverters ranging from 150 watt to 400 watt, and various combinations of fuses for the van. But eventually, I just had to give up. There just wasn’t enough power available to run the laptop and run Windows while the van was running.

I AM TO BLAME

So the next time you hear about global warming and you hear about people using excess power, you can blame me and my laptop and Windows 10 which seems to need to have the fans running constantly. It’s not that we don’t have enough wind power, for I am full of hot air. It’s not that we don’t have enough solar energy, for I am brighter than most. It’s just that I open Windows, and reboot all the time, every day. I am solely to blame.

I HAVE THE POWER

And now you know. Now you know how my nightmare from my childhood has come to pass. And I can’t open Windows in my van. I’m seeking help. I’m getting counseling. I’m dealing with it as best as I can. I’ve shed a few tears, cried and cussed through the miles, gotten angry with God, and purchased a lower powered laptop for my future travels. But I’ll still look back and reminisce about the 10th anniversary trip to New Hampshire, back in 1998, with my wife driving, when I ran a full tower desktop with a regular LCD panel monitor, while my wife drove, without having to change the wiring in the van.

ME

I hope my tale of woe and Windows hasn’t inspired new nightmares for you, and that you will be able to open Windows in all your cars, vans, and other rides. But, for me, it was a true tale of fear come to life. Feel free to follow my other powerful ramblings at the links listed below: